Brilliance Lost
by Shadows Cutting Deeper
Summary: Dr W.D. Gaster muses in a moment of clarity, while on the edge of insanity, about what he has done, and if there is still a chance for redemption
Gaster leaned against the framework of the Core, the massive generator which powered the Kingdom of Mount Ebott, lava bubbled near a hundred feet beneath him. He wore his laboratory coat underneath his usual black attire, standing tall and slender built, the skeleton was certainly an intimidating sight, even more so in recent years with his...Experiments.

Hmph, nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they always say. Gaster had taken up the task of breaking the barrier almost the same moment King Asgore had, the moment it had arisen in the first place, at first, it was personal, Gaster himself had lost his entire family in the war to those...Beasts, the humans of this land, the fools sought to destroy Monsterkind out of fear, and they nearly succeeded. It was around this time that Gaster swore that he would avenge his people tenfold, and that once he broke the barrier, he would help end those...Beasts which killed his kind, he would destroy humanity, or at least partake in it's destruction.

That was his original goal, along the way he'd lost...sight of it, he "softened" to the point of which he seemed like an average man, he...was no average man, he was W.D. Gaster, the greatest scientific mind to ever be born! With his own matter he created two fellow skeletons, each one bearing the greatest he had to offer.

Gaster ran one hand over the hole in the other, as he thought about his sons. Sans, the genius who, in time could even rival Gaster himself in terms of brilliance, and then Papyrus, the innocent and kind son, who inherited his physical features

Heh, this is a rather...Ghastly situation, is it not?...Why would it be? Wh...what was I talking about?

Gaster held his hand onto the crack on his head, a side effect of...personally testing the determination, he'd not faded right away, but it did..alter him, he became unstable, confused, often forgetful, but most of all...violent

Yet, whenever it seemed he was about to lose control, there was Sans to cheer him up with a pun, or work on various projects with him, to keep him on track, to remember why they were there. And at home, he had Papyrus who even at such a young age sought only to please his father, with a giggle, a smile, or wrapping his small arms around the doctor's neck in embrace

Gaster loved his children dearly, and the fact that his work kept him from them bothered him...At first, but after that faithful night which upon believing his test results safe, injected himself with determination in an attempt to override the resets, to control time himself, he didn't have nearly enough, and well...The amount of Determination he took that night almost killed him, and changed him forever. It was then he became violent, and forgetful, and an overall horrible person, the cracks on his skull forming as of a result of his body struggling to handle the amount of Determination he took on, and those same cracks being in constant pain, only adding to his terrible moods.

Sans...Papyrus, they are all that matter, they are all that should matter yet somehow, whenever he tried to remind himself of that, his mind spirals into nonsense and babble...Why was he here again?

The core shook, the magical energy running through the machine was practically an ocean, but was far too unstable to tap into, perhaps the same could be said for Determination.

"I remember."

Gaster looked down at his creation with a sad smile and a moment of clarity, he remembered why he first came here today, why he was not at the lab, studying to find a way to stop the resets and destroy the barrier. The Kingdom did not need a royal scientist who got his results through the vile experimentation on criminals, or innocent humans. The king did not need an adviser who pushed him to war with the humans in a futile quest for vengeance. The science division did not need an unstable boss who was prone to violent outbursts, only to be kept calm by his ever present son, and apprentice. Monsterkind did not need a monster who foolishly drove the substance which powered humans, a vastly stronger race, into his very bones, causing him to start to rip at the seams...

Sans and Papyrus did not need a neglectful father, a cruel father, a father who one day was there for them, and the next not...Not only did they not need this, the should not have it and would be better off without a father, then one like him.

"My dear boys...I am sorry, for the pain, for the things I have done...I only pray you remember me for who I was, not who I am now."

His head was pounding, he pulled up his sleeve...cracks were forming in his bones now, he'd eventually get worse, these moments of clarity fewer and farther between, until eventually he was the mean spirited beast that he was slowly but surely turning into.

"Funny...Is it not? I shall be remembered as a terrible fellow...Not a man who enjoyed tea with the king and queen, not a man who held one son in his arms, while teaching the other how to read...I will be remembered as a dusty old scientist without a heart, soulless...Wouldn't you two agree?"

Gaster spoke purely to himself as nobody had even delved into this part of the core in quite some time, his moment was fading...He remembered what he came to do.

"Please, forgive me...Or better yet, forget me."

With these final words, as the heat from the magma below radiated towards him, causing him to shut his eyes, he slid himself over the railing, and though hesitant for a brief moment...let go, tumbling, a hundred feet to his fiery doom

It was for the better, for the best...He'd rather be known as the fool who fell into his own creation, then the failure of a father, the failure of a scientist, and the failure of a friend he was. Now at least...He could have some form of redemption.


End file.
